Saturday, March 12, 2011

the rantings of a [now] happily single girl

Last week was stake conference and it was exactly what I needed. In so many ways. I could do about twenty blog posts [long ones] about it all. But don’t worry I won’t. I will, though, share one thing.
I am young, but at BYU I feel very old. Last weekend I went to my friend’s baby shower, and [other than one girl that I didn’t know that didn’t talk] I was the only single girl there. Everyone else was married and half the girls had babies. [Ps. they were so stinkin cute].

While I was driving home for that I started thinking about all the girls I lived with and hung out with my freshman year here. Every single one of them is married. I got extremely depressed at that thought. How could I be the only single one? What did I do wrong?

Things didn’t get any better the next week. I started teaching in Jordan [35 min away] and riding up there with 4 other girls. Two are married, one about to be engaged, and the other with a boyfriend. So what does our conversation turn to each day?

Yup, you guessed it, marriage.

Every day I get to hear all about each girl’s engagement, the excitement, the dress, the ring, the boy, the day, and how so very lucky they are now. I am happy for them. I love these girls so much. But as they talk, I realize I am the oldest one in the car, and still so very single. I try to ignore that, but it sure is hard.

 So needless to say, I’ve been pretty down lately. I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be happy. I just wasn’t sure how to when I was constantly bombarded with the fact that I am single and alone.

Then I went to Stake Conference.

I think just about every speaker gave me some sort of hint on what I am doing wrong and what I can do to let myself be happier. Then the last speech really got to me. It was Elder Craig Zwick from the First Quorum of the Seventy [a group of leaders in my church].

Don’t compare yourself to others.

Duh, Katie! I’ve heard this before. A million and one times. But each time I always think of personality traits or material possessions. But all of a sudden it hit me that I cannot compare myself to my married friends. They are so very different people than I am. I lead a different life than they do. The Lord needs me to learn different things than they are learning, and maybe one day I will realize I needed this time as preparation for something else. I am not my married friends. I am me and the Lord has a great plan for me. I am so glad to be single. I have amazing roommates and I get to do so many things and go so many places that I would never get to if I was married.

Don’t get me wrong, I still someday wish to get married. But I can be patient and do it on the Lord’s timeline.

Not my own, and not some other girl’s.  

I love my life and I am happy to be where I am. 

London with my besties!
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