Saturday, June 9, 2012

The Time I Watched Someone Die...

My dear, sweet grandpa passed away on Sunday. I had the opportunity to be by his bedside when he took his last breath.

Grandpa has had physical struggles for a while, but starting going down hill the past couple of weeks. Last Sunday I spend sometime with him, but he was so weak he could not respond other than minimal mumbles and a few quiet words with great effort. As I said goodbye to him while he laying in his bed, I leaned down and kissed his head saying, "I love you, grandpa." His mouth began to move and he breathed out, "I love you, too." I'll never forget those last words he spoke to me. 

I went to visit him again this past Sunday. He was much worse. He couldn't even groan out any sort of response. He blood pressure had dropped and his breathing had sped up. The hospice nurse told us it would most likely be that day. I stayed the day there with my grandpa along with aunts, uncles, and cousins. 

Grandpa's condition rapidly decreased, and I soon found myself in a hushed room with brothers and sisters holding hands, sons and fathers grasping arms, and Grandpa Bay's favorite hymns quietly playing. Everyone was sad we were about to lose such an amazing and loving man, someone who had been such a part of out lives, but there was a peace that filled the room. Grandpa was about to go home. He was about to be reunited with his wife and his son as well as countless other family members. While those of us sitting in that room had tears streaming down our faces, those on the other side had smiles and open arms. And in just a few short minutes, Grandpa would be no longer be tied to his broken body, but would be running to them with that big old Grandpa Bay grin on his face. It's amazing to know that because of the temple Grandpa can be sealed to his wife and children for eternity. [more about Mormon temples here.]

Among whispers of "I love you," "we'll miss you," and "It's okay, Dad, you don't need to take care of us anymore, you can go," Grandpa took his last breath. He didn't leave without a fight, though, and one last joke. We had all thought he took his last breath, when to our amazement thirty seconds later he took another one! Way to lighten the mood, Grandpa! But soon enough, his spirit peacefully left his mortal body and went to join his family waiting on the other side. It was quite an experience to not only have tears of sorrow, but also tears of peace and joy. 

There is a song by one of my favorite bands [death cad for cutie] that says, "Love is watching someone die." I felt that so true on Sunday. Every single person in that room around Grandpa had such a deep love for him. It's amazing too how many more people wished they could be there. Grandpa truly was a loved man. 

See you later, Grandpa!

football doctor @ everything's hanging on this moment
grandpa, his wife marva, and two of the five sons
doctor @ everything's hanging on this moment
he's so dapper
doctor grandpa @ everything's hanging on this moment
doctor bay about to make another delivery
grandpa and grandma @ everything's hanging on this moment
grandpa&wife marva (she passed before my parents met)
i love everything about this photo.
grandpa @ everything's hanging on this moment
grandpa&i, 1991?
grandpa @ everything's hanging on this moment
grandpa&i, family reunion 2007
grandpa @ everything's hanging on this moment
grandpa&i at grandma jean's funeral (second wife), 2012
grandpa @ everything's hanging on this moment
grandpa&i, 2012
grandpa @ everything's hanging on this moment
grandpa&i, 2012


Beka said...

he seems like he was an amazing, fun loving, kind man. i'm sorry for your loss, but aren't we so grateful for the Gospel!

Fran said...

I'm so sorry for your loss <3

Jessie said...

so sorry for your loss girl, but such a beautiful way to look at death. my grandpa passed away yesterday, also after a long fight with his own body. it does make me sad that he's gone, but it makes me so so happy to know that he no longer has to struggle to live. i wasn't with him when he passed, but i've been blessed enough to be by my fathers side when he passed away, as well as my nana's when she passed. love IS watching someone die. <3


Jessie said...

also, i'm going to share this post on my blog if you don't mind. let me know if you do and i will take it down.

wildchild said...

i'm sorry for your loss and your family's pain. i can only imagine. this is a beautiful post. it sounds like your grandpa lived a well loved life and for that, i'm thankful. and he was so handsome! your family seems lucky to have had him :)

Shane said...

Wow, this was really tough to read. My thoughts are with you, stay strong and keep your head up girl!

xo Shane

Heather said...

I love the old pictures. The kite flying one really is amazing. It's neat that you'll always have the memory of helping Grandpa leave his mortal existence.

Ashley said...

Beautiful! I am so glad my sister from Sweet Little Somethings shared this post. I am sorry for your loss but thank you for sharing it has brightned my day. Such a beautiful way to view life. = )

Rachel Elizabeth said...

So sad but also beautiful. Looks like you were lucky enough to have an awesome grandpa.

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